Systems, photons, and journal entries
After I returned from the amazingly bizarre and spiritually saturated subcontinent of India, I was only interested in matters of deep importance. I had no words for trivial things and I was looking for prophetic meaning in everything that was spoken by others. " I feel I only have breath to breach topics of heavy importance- how to understand, the ways of the universe, truth, and purpose." Due to the language barrier in India I had not spoken very much in the two months that I had spent there. I had a lot of time to be with my self, trapped (as I saw it at the time) in my own head. So when I returned to meaningless small talk, what I saw as a disgusting amount of wealth, and people hiding from one another behind technology- I had a hard time adjusting and I was hypersensitive. Not an altogether bad feeling: at times and among enlightened company I felt, " a delicate and almost warm rawness- an acceptance of the many realities racing through my head at alarming speeds- realities composed by nature's most complex musicians: humans." But I was also hypersensitive to the culture I now had to make peace with, I wrote in my journal, "I feel very serious. there are so many distractions here to keep us safe from one another- to keep our borders protected." I was astounded by how people hid behind their phones using it as an excuse to not really listen or engage; we as Americans had found yet another way to escape from the present reality. "ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE" are we living in it?" I asked myself.
I became obsessed with systems and felt I couldn't escape the one I had returned to. "You are part of it, DAILY. But they can't rent space in your brain if you, the "captain of your soul" do not allow them to take up residence," and then I talked about ninjas for a few pages. SYSTEMS! SYSTEMS! "It's all part of the system. It all perpetuates the same reality founded on the basis of money and superiority... I feel nervous, jittery, trapped. Don't let your guard down," I warned myself, " they quietly sneak in your head laying the smallest of seeds...." A few months later, I wrote immediately after that sentence: PARANOI. But was it?
[As I write this I smell India, like its coming off from the pages where I wrote words inspired by my experience there.]
I began to try to make sense of what I was going through. My first true love introduced me to a life altering book, The Tao of Physics. I became obsessed with photons. "Light- pure energy without a differential mass, it is simultaneous, it is perfect, it has no beginning it has no end- it knows the size of the universe- it traverses it instantly" I wrote breathlessly. Gravity became the enemy. "BUT GRAVITATIONAL FORCE- it affects the light- the finite is inflicted upon the infinite and systems are created- solar systems." I began to understand light for the first time, "the reality I see with my eyes is all produced by light. Energy waves create the world around us." It was a beautiful realization but I still struggled with my deep distaste bordering on hate for Maya, the illusion of concrete realities that created the dreaded system that I was railing against in my brain.
I wrote this poem during the midst of this:
different configurations
result in myriad animations
subject to various interpretations
all of the same force
but of course,
it's all chaotic intercourse
this interdependence
understood only through transcendence
ENTROPY DOMINATES.
ಜೋರ್ಡನ್
I became obsessed with systems and felt I couldn't escape the one I had returned to. "You are part of it, DAILY. But they can't rent space in your brain if you, the "captain of your soul" do not allow them to take up residence," and then I talked about ninjas for a few pages. SYSTEMS! SYSTEMS! "It's all part of the system. It all perpetuates the same reality founded on the basis of money and superiority... I feel nervous, jittery, trapped. Don't let your guard down," I warned myself, " they quietly sneak in your head laying the smallest of seeds...." A few months later, I wrote immediately after that sentence: PARANOI. But was it?
[As I write this I smell India, like its coming off from the pages where I wrote words inspired by my experience there.]
I began to try to make sense of what I was going through. My first true love introduced me to a life altering book, The Tao of Physics. I became obsessed with photons. "Light- pure energy without a differential mass, it is simultaneous, it is perfect, it has no beginning it has no end- it knows the size of the universe- it traverses it instantly" I wrote breathlessly. Gravity became the enemy. "BUT GRAVITATIONAL FORCE- it affects the light- the finite is inflicted upon the infinite and systems are created- solar systems." I began to understand light for the first time, "the reality I see with my eyes is all produced by light. Energy waves create the world around us." It was a beautiful realization but I still struggled with my deep distaste bordering on hate for Maya, the illusion of concrete realities that created the dreaded system that I was railing against in my brain.
I wrote this poem during the midst of this:
different configurations
result in myriad animations
subject to various interpretations
all of the same force
but of course,
it's all chaotic intercourse
this interdependence
understood only through transcendence
ENTROPY DOMINATES.
ಜೋರ್ಡನ್
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